A Humbling Lesson

When my children were very young, my ex-husband and I used to go to a family camp every year. It was mostly structured around spending quality time with the children but once a day, there was a space for parents to process their feelings.

One year, we had a task to play with our partner. I must admit, although I’m really playful by nature, I froze. I sat looking longingly at other couples who seemed to have so much fun. One couple in particular made me green with envy. They ran around the room, giggled uncontrollably, then jumped out outside and rolled around on the grass.

When we were asked to name the highlight of the camp, I said it was watching them play. I kept ruminating on that memory for weeks after, feeling like I was missing out on something important in life.
About two months after the camp, the woman I envied requested to have a session with me. When she told me about the toxicity in her relationship and the ugly break-up she was going through I felt deeply shocked and humbled.

Comparing your inner world to someone else’s outer expression is not helpful. You have no idea what people are going through behind the scenes.

The same applies to business.

Comparing yourself to someone who is further down the line can feel demotivating. It’s wonderful to aspire to become great in your profession, but do it your way. Being better or worse than someone else is just the mind’s way of making sense of the world. No one else has your flavour and what you do is uniquely yours.

From my experience, unhealthy comparison is a trauma response. It’s driven by your sense of not being enough as you are.

The good news is it can be healed.

If you feel called, join my 5-week ‘Good Enough’ course. It’ll help you to curb your reactions to other people by dealing with the underlying insecurities and wounding. I hope you’re able to join me live. www.gularavincent.co.uk/good-enough

With love
Gulara