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People often marvel at my productivity and wonder how I do it.
It’s simple.
I lean into support.
I don’t mean having a team. Mostly, I’m a one-person band with the exception of some back-end IT support.
I mean that if I’m stuck, panicking, disheartened, lost or frustrated, I have someone to turn to for support.
My partner often jokes that I am single-handedly supporting a large proportion of the healing industry. What can I say, I walk my talk.
Of course, I could do it myself. After all, I have some amazing tools that are helping hundreds of people. But when you're in it, it's quite hard to see the bigger picture. Sometimes, I need a different perspective on the issue. Sometimes, I need to revisit some past trauma. Sometimes, I just need to hear myself talk.
It took me a long time to open to receiving support (and even to date, it’s predominantly paid support, but I stopped judging that).
To my uber-independent personality, support used to feel like a sign of weakness. I felt indebted if I relied on anyone. I feared I was too much for other people to hold.
I spent a lifetime being self-sufficient.
It took me a long time to recognise that my uber independence was a trauma response.
My fear of being abandoned was so strong that I couldn’t entertain a possibility of having support and then loosing it. I didn’t want to get 'soft' and loose my resilience.
My uber independence was born out of neglect.
It’s not to blame my careers. They did the best that they could with the resources that they had at their disposal, but very early on I learnt that if I wanted to survive, I had to get through life all by myself.
I was stuck in survival mode.
Does this sound familiar?
Self-care to me doesn’t look like a bubble bath or facial. To me, self-care is an inside job – taking care of the parts of me that felt neglected because my careers themselves were abandoned and neglected at some point in their lives.
I was exploring this the other day and cried buckets for my grandmother who was orphaned at the age of 10. She was forced to live with her abusive aunt. She often said that she vowed to never forgive her aunt for treating her so badly. My grandmother was a proud woman who was determined to never bow to anyone. While her intention was honourable, I grew up watching her struggling through life and complaining incessantly about a lack of support.
I still love my grandmother very much, but I realised that out of loyalty and respect for her, I was leading her life of isolation and struggle. Healing this wound is bringing so much more ease into my life.
Self-neglect has deep roots in our ancestral line. That’s why when I offer healing on the patterns of neglect, I do it at the inter-generational level.
I have a class on this theme on 21 November at 12:00-15:00 UK time/ 7:00-10:00am EST. Are you joining me? This might be my last 3-hour masterclass for now. I hope to see you live or with the recording.
Here's the link: www.gularavincent.co.uk/heal-self-neglect.
If you need even more substantial support, the doors to the next round of my practitioner training online are now open! For me it has been always an obvious equation: If you want bigger results, you get bigger support. Join now to get some amazing bonuses + 12-month payment plan, if you join by 15 December 2024.
All details are in the link: www.gularavincent.co.uk/practitioner-training
P.S. Have you got your copy of Fragile Freedom yet? I'd be immensely grateful if you continued to share the book links to get the word out (www.gularavincent.co.uk/blog/fragile-freedom )
When you buy the book, you also get my 5-week home study course for free (usually £149).
Also, as a thank you to my readers, I'm offering three FREE events. The second one is - Befriending the Banished (Shameful) Parts on 22 Nov at 14:00-15:00 UK time/ 9:00-10:00am EST:
https://gulara-vincent.mykajabi.com/befriending-the-banished
With love and deep gratitude for all your support,
Gulara