3 Reasons people stay stuck in unhappy relationship(s)
It hurts my heart when I see women staying stuck in unhappy relationships. Believe me, I've been there. Over and over again.
Stuck, frustrated, trapped.
Here're 3 things that helped me to shift into having a healthy happy relationship.
1. 'If you are going to clean the house, you have to see the dirt'. – Louise Hay
When you start working through your relationship challenges, you have to face the mess. Often, it's very uncomfortable and unsettling, so it's easy to brush the dirt under the carpet.
But the mess doesn't go away.
Every time you decide to leave something unexamined, the pile of dirt grows under the carpet.
Until you sit in the discomfort and face the mess that you have co-created with your partner (I know, it's a tough one to admit: you too have a role in this dynamic and it's not all his fault, even if it feels like that). When you start healing the old feelings of not good enough and low self-esteem, as well as tone down the voice of your inner critic, you start treating yourself differently, and paradoxically, other people start treating you differently too.
This is where the second step comes in.
2. 'Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.' – Wayne Dyer
I hear people say I want to get un-stuck and change something in life, but the truth is that change can feel terrifying. If you confront your partner and tell him how you really feel, there can be serious implications for your life.
For example, he might leave and create financial strain for you and the kids. You might fear that no one else might love you, so there may be the tendency to hang on to your partner out of fear of loneliness. What about reactions of your children, family and friends? The thought of explaining what's been going on behind the closed doors may feel unbearable.
So while there's a part of you that wants change, fear of the unknown is likely to keep you stuck in what you do know. You can't, however, do the same thing over and over again and expect different results.
It requires courage to change your life, but it's so worth it. With the right support, it's not as bad as you imagine. In fact, working on your relationship will have a transformative effect on the rest of your life.
3. 'Never quit on your dream, but learn to cut your losses and quit your plan if it is not working.'
When you have tried to fix your relationship for a long time, quitting can feel disheartening. You've probably invested a lot of time, money and energy, and the thought of walking away can feel daunting.
Don't get me wrong - it's essential to give healing your relationship the best shot. But if you've done everything under the sun and it's still not working... well, sometimes cutting your losses can be healthier than staying stuck.
Don't quit on your dream of a happy family life, even if things are not working out. You never know what else is possible unless you let go of what's not working.
P.S. If you're ready to get un-stuck, I'd love to help you. Book your free consultation here https://gulara.as.me/30min to arrange a chat.
With all my love
Gulara