Help! I Can’t Ask For What I Want!

I had a client recently who felt blocked around asking for what she wants. There was so much charge around *asking*. Whether it was asking clients for money, asking the universe for guidance or asking people for help, she felt stuck.

It didn’t feel safe to ask for what she wants. It didn’t even feel safe to know.

‘What’s the scariest thing about asking for what you want?’ I asked her.

‘Disappointment,’ was the first word that came through.

When we traced the feeling back, it took us back to the Christmas presents she received as a child. They were bountiful, but never quite right. Wrong colour, wrong make, wrong size… Year after year, she had to feign gratitude, pushing her disappointment down.

With time she concluded that she wasn’t good enough to receive what she wants; it’s like there was something wrong with her and that was why her wants were not fully met.

To avoid disappointment, she avoided any situations that could cause that old pain and stopped asking life and other people for any support.

That’s one of the strategies you use when you feel not good enough: avoidance. There are 3 other strategies that we use as a reaction to the feeling of not enough-ness: there might be a cycle of self-blame (there’s something wrong with me); blaming others (my partner never delivers) or shut down and isolation from other people.

It’s amazing how deep some of your childhood messages go and how much impact they can have on your present day life. And if you don’t feel good enough in one area of your life (let’s say work), it’s likely to show up in all the areas of your life – parenting, relationship(s) and even friendships.

Just like my client who couldn’t ask for what she wanted from her clients, from her family members or even life itself.

The good new is this can be healed.

If a sense of not enough-ness permeates your life, I have a very special invitation for you. Join my 5-week ‘I Am Enough’ course now to receive a super early bird discount. The first 10 people who join the course will also receive a 3-hour healing experience ‘Tuning Into Trust’ for free (normally £99) + an audio course ‘Calm Communication’.

www.gularavincent.co.uk/i-am-enough

P.S. Here’s a little video with Debbie’s experience of this course.