How to un-do long standing patterns

Do you find yourself overwhelmed when you think of healing a particular issue, for example, your relationship with your mum or your partner. The challenge can feel insurmountable – where do you even start?

I have a really good way of dealing with long-standing patterns which is super effective.

The trick is to pick a small example, something that’s not terribly charged.

As you read this, pick one person that’s been troubling you. Then think of one small example where you felt hurt by this person. It could go like this:

When you said/did that, I felt…

Got it?

OK, now if you’re willing, write down all the beliefs that stem from that scenario:

‘I’m not loveable.’

‘They always end up blaming me.’

‘I don’t feel heard.’

It can be quite a long list, and that list is a microcosm of the bigger issues. If you know any healing tools to help you heal the small example, you’re half-way to changing the bigger picture.

Small steps are valuable.

You don’t feel overwhelmed by the enormity of the task and make healing your relationship concrete and manageable.

P.S. If you don’t know how to do it by yourself, let me help you. Just drop me a line.