3 Signs Your Relationship Needs a Reboot

fatigue

The first sign is tiredness, like real fatigue. I’m talking about deep exhaustion that goes beyond physical tiredness, when it's really hard to find the motivation for things that you want to do. You may be waking up in the morning, more tired than before you went to sleep, anxious and worried. That kind of tiredness is often a sign that perhaps something is not working in your relationship or in your environment, something that’s draining your energy.

So I'd love for you to pause and think about it. Is this something that affects you physically and emotionally? The physical body can manage to push through and keep going for a long time but there comes a point when the body says, ‘You know what? Enough is enough.’

Often physical tiredness is a side-effect of suppressed emotions.

It's exhausting to shut your feelings down and then keep a lid on them. For example, if you don’t feel comfortable feeling your anger, you’re likely to push it down every time it surfaces. You have to expend a lot of energy to keep those feelings under the wraps.

The moment you take the lid off and feel whatever it is that you've stuffed down (often decades ago) all the energy you’ve been directing at suppression becomes available again.

The second sign I want to talk about is criticism. When you get critical of other people or you feel constantly cricitised, it’s a sure sign that something is off. You may not voice your criticism, but in your mind, if you're sitting there and seething at your partner for something minor, like chewing too loudly, chances are there’s a deeper reason for your irritation.

The inner critic that lashes out at you or others is likely to drain your energy and likely to contribute to your fatigue as well.

I remember doing some work on the inner critic about a decade ago. I was shocked at how much criticism went on in the background. On the outside, I just smiled and said nothing. On the inside, I felt tormented.

The inner critic has good intentions of protecting you but it just makes you feel terrible. Once you get clear on what it's trying to protect you from, which is often a deep vulnerability, then you can get free from that voice. Otherwise, it just gets louder and louder, more and more toxic. And it serves neither you nor your relationship.

The third indicator that your relationship needs a reboot is if you feel overwhelmed a lot of the time. Often overwhelm is a sign that things are too much. I’m sure you can have a long list of reasons as why you can legitimately feel overwhelmed. You might be juggling a job, looking after the kids, managing the house, connecting with parents/ in-laws/ friends, etc. It’s a lot, but it doesn't have to be overwhelming. What I found in my work is that once you eliminate the cause of overwhelm, even when all the circumstances remain the same, you cope so much better.

All three signs point in the same direction - within. Underneath fatigue, criticism and overwhelm there’s often some old pain.

If you're ready to give your relationship(s) a reboot, come and join us in my 12-week programme, where you'll release those suppressed emotions and open up to more vitality and abundance in your life. We're starting with the anxiety antidote on 29 March at 10:00-11:30am UK time. There are only 3 spots left. If money is the block for you to join us, drop me a line today. I have some partly funded places + longer payment plans are available.

With all my love

Gulara