Permission slip

As a child I used to go to open bazaars with my grandmother to buy clothes and shoes. I remember one of those visits vividly. After perusing all the merchandise, I fell in love with a pretty lacy white shirt that I desperately wanted.

‘That’s not going to last,’ my grandmother said in response as she often did when I chose something that I liked. ‘But this,’ she showed me a sturdy looking red shirt with navy zipline around the neck, ‘would last for a long time. I can buy you the white shirt but I won’t replace it when it falls apart in a month’s time.’

I went with her choice that day, and she was right: the ugly red shirt lasted for a long time.

But something important happened that day. It’s like I made a vow to not want anything in life. What was the point? I wouldn’t have it anyway? I might as well just let her choose because in the end, I had to go along with what she deemed appropriate for me.

Years passed, I moved out of my childhood home and became financially self-sufficient, but that vow hadn’t left me. It was as if my wants were muted and limited to only what I could have.

Even not long ago, after doing lots of work on myself, I felt overwhelmed when I went into shops (which is rare). I had to consciously reassure my younger self that I could afford whatever she wanted. She still believed that my choices had to be practical and not frivolous.

It’s like she needed a permission slip to want.

Have you had an experience of shutting down your wants because you were not allowed to have something? Perhaps you were made to feel wrong and selfish. Perhaps you were even shamed for it. Perhaps you were stuck in perpetual wanting cycle where nothing came to fruition. Those experiences can leave deep scars that may be still affecting you today.

I’m handing permission slips on 20 January at 11:45-14:45 UK time. In this healing experience, you’ll have an opportunity to let go of events of your life that shape your desires today.

Irrespective of whether you know exactly what you want but can’t manifest it or whether you hold yourself back from having clarity on your wants, this event will help.  

Sign up here today to receive a bonus audio recording on Healing from fear of rejection: www.gularavincent.co.uk/want