Lessons from Turning Red
I was watching ‘Turning Red’ with my kids the other day. Such a great film with a deep message.
One scene captures the work I do so beautifully that I wanted to share it with you.
Let me give you a backstory:
A girl doodles mindlessly and suddenly realizes that she’s been drawing a boy that her friends fancy. She then realizes that she might be fancying him too. She crawls under her bed and starts frantically drawing his pictures.
Suddenly, her mother comes into her room. The girl jumps onto her bed pretending to be resting, while perspiring over her diary that’s sticking out from under the bed. Her mum notices the diary and picks it up to find her daughter’s images entwined with that of the local boy.
The mum becomes outraged: ‘What? Who is this boy? Is he the one who works at the supermarket? Did he do these things to you? I’ll teach him a lesson.’
She wouldn’t listen to her daughter, drags her along to the local shop where the boy works and barges in. There are some children from the school witnessing the scene where the mother accuses the boy of being inappropriate with her daughter and threatening to report him to the police.
When the boy denies it all, the mother thrusts the images that her daughter drew under his nose as a piece of evidence. The girl feels like she could die of embarrassment, while her schoolmates laugh hysterically.
'Thank goodness I was here,' says mum back in the car, 'that degenerate won't come near you again.'
Now onto the key scene.
The girl is back home pacing her room, conflicted.
There’s a part that howls with despair and humiliation.
There’s a part that's angry with herself - 'Why did you draw those horrible awful things?
There's a survival part: 'It's fine. You'll move to another city, change your identity.'
There’s a part that’s sad and wants her mummy. 'I'm so sorry!'
Another round of howling: 'You're her pride, so act like it!'
This will never happen again.'
Boom! That promise is a vow. Promises like this carry a massive charge because you make them in a heightened emotional state. They then run like a computer virus in the background. You might have outgrown that belief, but there’s a part of you that still clings to that decision you’ve made when you felt particularly hurt and powerless.
Those vows don’t go away by themselves. They require deep healing and that’s exactly what I offer in the Principles of Pleasure that I’ll be running on 10 June 6-9pm UK time. It’s so easy to close off your heart to love when you feel ashamed, embarrassed or humiliated.
There's more to this picture.
The part that made that promise turns into your inner protector.
This protector makes sure that you don't forget the promise. She won't let you put yourself into situations that could cause similar pain. The protector guards the wounded aspect, that vulnerable child who felt so humiliated. The deeper the wounding, the stronger your protector.
Without healing that deep wound first, your protector won't relax and let go. It'll sabotage your every step, because it thinks that your life depends on not feeling that old vulnerability again. That's why I'm running Resistance Release to help you with your vulnerability and inner protectors, so that you can finally stop feeling stuck and can move forward with more ease and joy. It's on 14 June at 6-9pm UK time.
Isn’t it time to unlock your heart and let love in?
P.S. Here are a few other opportunities to work with me.
19 July-17 August - From Scarcity Mentality to Safety Mindset (30-day live experience) £99
If you join my 12 week programme by 29 May 2022, you'll get all three above programmes plus a whole library of healing resources as a gift.
If this calls you, join now and receive the extra resources straightaway.
With all my love
Gulara