I want to quit… [fill in the gap]
I had a client who had an addiction to cigarettes. She wanted to quit, but it was easier said than done. It made her feel not good enough, and as a healer, she felt like an imposter.
When we explored the root cause of the addiction, she remembered that her dad was diagnosed with lung cancer when she was 14. Within 2 weeks of his diagnosis, she started to smoke.
She felt angry and helpless that he was dying, and she didn’t have the support to process her emotions, so she bottled them all up, occasionally exploding in the wrong place at the wrong time.
This could have a been a plausible explanation for her addiction, but we dug deeper.
It transpired that she had asthma since birth. She was #4 in the family and her mother was overstretched.
This sense of being a burden on her parents created a pattern of holding her breath, not wanting to be here, to self-destruct somehow. Over the years, she had a number of suicide attempts, and when things didn’t work out, she chose a slow death: cigarettes.
You can treat symptoms, like smoking, indefinitely. You can use your willpower, your determination, your resolve.
But smoking is just a symptom.
Until you heal that core wounding that stops you breathing in life, you’ll find a way to self-destruct.
P.S. I’m running a 4-month programme where you’ll be exploring what’s at the heart of you not feeling ‘good enough’. What are the foundational stories that make you hold yourself back from living your best life?
Self-acceptance Bootcamp begins on Tuesday 13 September 1:00-3:00pm UK time and deals with your reactions to not feeling good enough. www.gularavincent.co.uk/more-than-enough
Essentially, every time your core wounding of not enough-ness is touched by others you go into 1. Avoidance; 2. Blaming yourself; 3. Blaming others; or 4. Shutting down. We’ll spend a month on each of these reactions and healing what’s underneath that reaction. Using each reaction as a doorway, you’ll heal what’s at the heart of you not feeling enough, so that you can finally show up more fully in your relationship(s) and at work.